


Be one with the Milk (and walk as it)

by Vullet



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: Gen, One-Shot, buy the blackwings, it's a crack fic dedicated to a few friends, its not even close to halloween but i gotta meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 09:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10487895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vullet/pseuds/Vullet
Summary: A dare from Rua results in Yuusei having the worst Halloween ever. It doesn't help everybody he's mutuals with decide to do pretty illegal stuff before he has to become walking milk.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Supurreme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supurreme/gifts).



"The one who walks as milk is generally deemed to be the strangest of the squad."  
-Jack Atlas, probably.

* * *

It all started with a stupid bet. Whoever between Yuusei and Rua could successfully beat the top player's score on a dumb old Pac Man machine. Little did Yuusei know, Rua had fucking trained and wrecked his friend.

And that's how Yuusei ended up participating in Halloween....as the Milkwalker.

* * *

 "God damn it Jack, I told you to stop drinking my milk!" Yuusei exclaimed, surprisingly frustrated. The blonde sighed, and glared.  
"It was Crow," he stated, as Yuusei gave a disappointed look.  
"He's lactose-intolerant."  
"It was Bruno."  
"Bruno's an android."  
"Aki...?"  
Yuusei sighed at Jack's denial. He couldn't take this anymore. He respected Jack's ramen. Why couldn't Jack respect his milk?  
"Yuusei, random question but. Do you eat ramen with milk?" Jack finally interrupted the silence.  
"Why do you need to know?"  
"....Yuusei."  
"No."  
"You're clearly lying."  
"Okay fine, I also pour milk on most meats."  
"THEN WHAT IS THE POINT, YUUSEI!? You've clearly stated you eat my ramen," Jack was PISSED. Yuusei just walked away, to do whatever he wanted to do. The crab was unpredictable. 

* * *

 "So. You're saying Yuusei eats everything with milk?" Crow questioned, almost doubting THE KINGU. Jack was in no way a very reliable source.   
Needless to say, Jack's tweet about it got likes from pretty much everyone who knew Yuusei on a personal level.  
"Anyways. I found this," Jack stated, holding up an image. Crow looked at it.

"Jack. What the FUCK is that?" Crow demanded.   
Jack got a huge grin. "The Milkwalker."

* * *

Literally nobody expected anyone besides Bruno to have survived Ark Cradle. Sadly, a lot more androids came out than anyone wanted.  
"Come on, you god damn machine! Give me the fuckin' Trishula!"  
"Placido, it might not even have Trishula. Plus, don't you like, hate Synchros?" Rua asked, waiting for his turn. This card shop was used for literally one thing: an infamous Duel Terminal that apparently gave a lot of Trishulas. Rua had encountered lines out the door in the quest to get the card.   
Not even the luckiest object in the world could rid of Placido's ridiculously bad luck that might as well make him a cursed object.  
"Let me try," stated Paradox, getting extremely paranoid at the other.  
"You aren't even good at dueling!" Placido exclaimed, ignoring a random person activating the Duel Terminal.

They got a Trishula, Dragon of the Ice Barrier. Kid didn't even bother dueling. This probably 9 year old child had got a super expensive card.  
"You better know it's worth!" Placido shouted, about ready to die.  
"Heh. It seems that even when you're given a second chance, you're the absolute failure," Lucciano insulted himself, to be literal.  
Was Placido dying? Nobody knew, but chances were yes. He probably couldn't even pull a Fuzzy Lanius if those existed in the 5D's universe.

"RUA!" Jack exclaimed, his voice probably exceeding all the noise form all the duels going on.  
Rua's face only had confusion written on it, as Jack NEVER wanted him for anything.  
The silence was interrupted by the surprisingly loud noise of people not even using duel disks to play Duel Monsters, someone trying to get a PSY-Framelord Omega for $2, and Placido's rapid pushing of the Duel Terminal's lone button.

Then, what Jack was holding was noticed by the other Signer in the room.  
It was a carton of milk. On it was a strange creature, that looked like it was drawn by someone who was high.  
"Milkwalker," said the King, with an extremely serious voice.

* * *

"Uh...." Rua sat there, overlooking Jack's plan. Turns out the latter had incredibly poor handwriting.  
"I can't read half of this," Ruka said, knowing her brother would not be direct to his idol.  
"RUA! I NEED YOU!....To get Yuusei to be this for Halloween."  
"I don't un-"  
"Yuusei is a sinner. He eats everything with milk. Imagine! KETCHUP WITH MILK!"   
The twins couldn't even respond to this.   
"Okay," Rua stated, making sure Jack would be proud of him.  
And so the games began.

* * *

[#BuyBlackwings] **TEXT** : Yo, Aki. Do you think Jack is actually being realistic about the milk thing?  
[Izayoi Aki] **TEXT** : As much as I don't trust Jack, I doubt he could lie about something relating to the most important item to him.  
[#BuyBlackwings] **TEXT** : So you're saying. Milk is more important to Yuusei than our bonds.  
[Izayoi Aki] **TEXT** : I doubt it.  
[Izayoi Aki] **TEXT** : Maybe you could ask Placido to try to set him off about milk? Yuusei is still mad at him and would be much more aggressive to him than Jack.  
[#BuyBlackwings] **TEXT** : Great idea! Thanks  
[Izayoi Aki] **TEXT** : No problem?

* * *

Jack had a paper pentagram, an Ouija board, and a milk carton in a dark room.   
"Oh great demonic force, tell me the truth about Yuusei's milk feti-"  
The lights flicked on.

Bruno looked around the room, and directly towards Jack's satanic ritual. He just closed the door.  
Instantly, the other ran back, flicked off the lights, and went onwards with his ridiculous adventure.  
"Anyways, does Yuusei have a thing for milk?"  
He pressed lightly on the planchette, but it slid quickly. The board spelt out B-R-U-N-O.  
"I know, I know, they're really gay. But does he have a thing for milk?"  
W-H-A-T  
Jack ignored the rules of the Ouija board.  
"What's your name," he asked the object. It spelt exactly what he was expecting. Z-O-N-E.  
"You bastard!" Jack said, flipping the board across the room and flicking on all the lights. He wasn't dealing with Shrimp God at this hour.

* * *

 Aki and Crow had to sit and watch this. Rua had challenged Yuusei to an old Pac Man arcade machine, and kept crushing the scores. Obviously, Satellite's Shooting Star was getting frustrated at how this 13 year old kept constantly beating him. Rua won, and smiled.   
"I'll tell you what I want you to do in a few days. Got to decide," he said, innocently.   
"milk," Crow whispered to Aki, knowing exactly what was going on. He was probably the only person able to read Jack's writing, and the entire paper was an adventure.

Jack's plan was flawless....right?

* * *

 "....Milk?" Placido was confused. Jack was frustrated.  
"LAST TIME I HAD TO LECTURE YOU ABOUT BASIC SHIT, YOU ENDED UP NEARLY BLOWING UP MY DEAR WHEEL OF FORTUNE!"  
"....So you love your motorcycle?" The literal motorcycle wasn't wasting the opportunity to ask.  
"No."  
"So, you're using Rua as a literal tool and he's falling for it?"  
"Indeed!" boasted JACK ATLAS, proud that this was actually working.  
"Teach me how to do that with Lucciano."  
"Does he have respect for yo-"  
"Not at all."  
"Then you aren't getting anywhere."  
"Oh, is it legal to steal a Duel Terminal?"  
"I-"  
"Yeah, I think cutting the wires broke it."

* * *

 He'd taken himself responsible for Placido, mostly because the entire ordeal was going to be stressful on Paradox and Lucciano as well.  
Yuusei did not expect his self-proclaimed rival to steal a Duel Terminal.  
He could really go for a nice glass of milk right now.  
"Do we hav-"  
"Yuusei, Aki's been trying to send you this link for the past hour," Bruno finally interrupted.  
"..."   
Placido had got himself on the news.  
Time to contact Ushio.

* * *

 "You got a Milkwalker costume commissioned for Yuusei?"  
"In secret Crow, in secret."  
"I'm giving up on you, Jack," stated Crow

* * *

Rua was really bad at whistling. He wasn't Kaito, but that wouldn't stop him. Ruka was about ready to kill him.   
"You know," the slightly older twin stated. "I wonder what happened to the Duel Terminal."  
That was ironic statement. Every single person who knew about the Trishula incident knew it was Placido.  
The latter broke the machine.  
Crow couldn't keep paying for Jack and Yuusei's failures, but it seemed that he was unlucky. At least Yuusei didn't buy $30 coffee every single day.

* * *

 It was October 31st.  
"Yuusei, I want you to wear this."  
The crab eyed Rua with absolute despair.

* * *

"HE'S FUCKING DOING IT," Jack laughed, probably about to die. Only the twins were even trick o' treating, the rest of them were there for the Milkwalker.  
Crow could only smile, Bruno was facepalming, Aki was dead inside, Placido was still probably at the card shop farming Trishulas, keeping the other two with him.  
"I hate all of you," Yuusei said blankly, not even caring anymore.  
"You can be the ultimate cryptid!" Crow tried to brighten up the mood.  
Yuusei exited the apartment, and the pictures blew up, questioning the cryptid.

* * *

"I got it!" Placido exclaimed, holding the Trishula up high. It had taken a whole week after the Milkwalker incident for the dragon to be in his hands, but it was worth it.   
"How much you taking for 'em?" Placido asked to the card shop owner.  
"You aren't allowed to sell or buy here."  
"Shouldn't have stole the Duel Terminal," Lucciano muttered in the background.  
"I-"  
"We are selling printed images of the Milkwalker, though."

* * *

 

Destiny had chosen Yuusei once again. Except this time it was for the sake of memes.  
Did Jack regret his adventure? No.  
Did Yuusei want Jack dead? Yes.  
And what did Crow think?  
  
[#BuyBlackwings] **TEXT** : That was the best thing I've ever seen.  
[Izayoi Aki] **TEXT** : Good for you. Now go sell your damn Blackwings.


End file.
